Mr. Green Jeans

My husband Lance has long been known as a "player." Now, I know in today's language a player has a negative connotation. By player I mean he plays golf any time the sun is shining, the temperature is over 40 degrees, and the wind at no more than 30 miles an hour. Any or all of those combinations. Yeah, that serious. I could be known as a golf widow, and our preacher does not get his feelings hurt anymore when Lance leaves as the benediction is getting started. Can't be late for tee time.

But there is another role that Lance fills that many may not know about: He is a gardener, a.k.a Mr. Green Jeans. This year he has one of the prettiest gardens he has had in several years. He has butter beans, squash, cucumbers, okra, tomatoes (135 plants), eggplant, and peppers.

He is also a magician. He can turn a basket of vegetables into a chocolate pie or coconut cake or bread pudding. Now that is magic. We have several older widows that he looks after and takes fresh vegetables to and they in turn make sweets for us. Nice trade off.

Cucumbers running on poles

Rows of butter beans

Watermelons and cantaloupes

View of the garden with fig trees in the background

Red sunflowers

Some of the 135 tomato plants

Squash

Kakki Time

Those of you who read Laura's blog and mine get a double dose of pictures of the grandkids, so i hope you will forgive this post and just count it up to being an overbearing grandmother.

This past week Laura let go of the boys for almost a week and let Sandi (Honey to the boys and Laura's mother-in-law) and me have the boys. I took Wes and Sandi took William. I know I got the easy job this time because Wes loves to eat and sleep and in between endears himself to anyone with his calm nature and inquisitive look that takes the place of a smile. I made sure he had plenty to eat, plenty of sleep, and plenty of play time.

Because of my time with Wes, I can truly say life is good, God is in His heaven, and all is right with the world, at least it is with my world.

This is the closest thing my mama and daddy will let me have to a dog. He will have to do for now.

Just a swingin'

Come on in. The water is fine.

This is my angelic pose. Boy, have I got them fooled or what?!

Playin' with my Kakki. I am the only one beside William who can destroy the den and get by with it.

Life's not much better than this.

Yeah! I'm ready to come back to my Kakki's.

In Memorium

On Monday, June 2, at 2:35 a.m., Lance's mother, my mother-in-law, Mary Davis passed away and is now in her heavenly home with her Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. We had visitation at the funeral home on Tuesday evening with graveside services Wednesday morning. Since we did not have a memorial service, I wanted my sisters-in-law, Cindy and Connie, my husband Lance, and her grandchildren to have one last memory of their mother and grandmother beside the one of her lying in the nursing home devastated by Alzheimer's. Since I am an emotional person a friend gave me some of her "drugs" to get through the following eulogy I gave at the grave site. Mary was a special lady and thankfully I enjoyed a wonderful relationship with her. Although she has long been removed mentally and emotionally from our family, she will be missed.

Eulogy for Mary Benfonte Baria Davis
May 28, 1923-June 2, 2008
June 4, 2008

I think most of you here know who I am, but if you don’t, I am D.K. Baria, Lance’s wife, Mary’s daughter-in-law. If you read the paper yesterday you read the basic facts of Mary’s life here on this earth. She was a daughter, sister, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, great grandmother, god mother, and to many of you here today a friend.

Last, week Lance and I were married 34 years, 34 years that allowed me to love Mary as my other mother. She welcomed me into her family with love and caring that many daughters-in-law never get to experience.

I know you are familiar with Chapter 31 in Proverbs that extols the virtue of a good wife and mother. I would like to read a passage from that chapter beginning with verse 25 and ending with verse 31:

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things.
but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Mary was truly the woman described in this passage. Even though she was a Yankee from Rochester, New York, she very quickly assimilated into the southern way of life and could have easily have been called a steel magnolia. She was a woman of character with a sense of modesty that most women today do not have. She had a sense of humor and loved a joke better than anyone. She was a faithful friend and a constant in time of sorrow. She loved her family but parented with a sense of order and expectancy. She married twice and was widowed twice. But most importantly, she was a Christian who loved God and practiced her faith everyday of her life.

Many of you may not know what a true woman of strength she was. After high school, she trained as a navy nurse and ministered to the servicemen who were wounded in battle. During this service, she met her first husband F.L. Baria. They married and moved to Oxford, where she worked to support them so he could complete Pharmacy school. They moved to the delta and eventually settled in Itta Bena. She lost her first born son who is buried in this family plot. She later had three children and then had to care for their father as he fought the battle against polycystic kidney disease, a battle he lost, leaving her a single mother with three children. Through her involvement in the Itta Bena community, she developed a relationship with Cleveland Davis, better known as Dooney, whom she later married. Not long after their marriage, she developed tuberculosis and was separated from her family for a period of time in the sanatorium in south Mississippi. After being allowed to come home, she was diagnosed with diabetes which continued to be a major part of her health problems. She then was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to suffer the indignity of a mastectomy. Dooney suffer a stroke, and she cared for him at home never allowing home health to come into her home for assistance, all the while continuing to work. Then she was widowed for a second time.

Through all of this, she never complained, she never asked why, she never gave up, she never blamed God. She accepted the lot that was cast for her with grace, beauty, and dignity. Through it all, she loved and supported her family, she practiced her faith, and she interacted with her community. With her passing so close to Memorial Day, I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one of my memories of Mary. When she was a member of the Cemetery Association, for the Memorial Day recognition, she would always help place the small flags on the graves of the deceased veterans. She was a long time member of the Ladies Auxiliary of the American Legion, so I think it is truly appropriate that she be given the recognition from the military today.

The most crushing blow came for our family when she began to succumb to the ravages of dementia and Alzheimer’s. They took a once beautiful and vibrant woman and reduced her to the shell of a woman she became before her death. We often wondered how much she could stand, and even more so, how much we could stand. But as she had done many times before, we fell in the arms of our Lord and gave her and ourselves over to His plan for her. We often questioned why she had to suffer the indignity of this disease, and we often prayed for mercy for her. But just as she knew, and as we all know, God’s plan is perfect, all in His own time.

So now we rejoice, knowing she made a mark on this earth, but even more so knowing she believed in Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. In the words of the psalmist:

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body will also rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
. . .
You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence;
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16: 9-11

We thank all of you who have offered your support and prayers in this later journey of our mother’s life. We ask your continued prayers for our family as we continue our journey without her.

# 11 March 16 Home Again

Our trip home was fairly uneventful except for a few hitches along the way and one uncomfortable night for Shirley.

The faithful cell phone goes off one last time at 4:30, and we drag ourselves out of bed. Even Cathy and Shirley are a bit slow hitting the floor this morning. No make-up for me today. We do all the last minute checking and packing and head down to the lobby to catch the bus. It is the quietest bus ride I have been on in a while.

We check in at the airport and I have to pay $80 for over weight luggage. Hitch #1. We have an hour wait before loading the plane. We eat breakfast, wander a round a bit, and settle in to wait for our plane. We finally get to board our plane at least 30 minutes late and then sit on the runway for 45 more minutes before we take off. This loss of time will make a big difference as you will see later. Hitch #2.

Some of the kids get in a snooze while waiting for the plane.

The flight is fine since I sit between Natalie and (for the life of me I can't remember who). I sleep some and read some, but my DVD player is on the fritz so no movie this trip.

We arrive in Atlanta over an hour late which makes Shirley late for flight to Memphis, since she is not going back to the Delta with us. She literally misses her plane by 3 minutes. Hitch #3. There has been really bad weather in the Midwest that is now heading for the Atlanta area and effecting incoming flights. This year instead of scheduling a flight to Memphis and then catching the bus to Indianola, MR scheduled us a bus from Atlanta. That way we would arrive in Indianola about the time we would have just been getting into Memphis. This was the BEST move MR made!

As I am sitting on the bus, waiting for everyone to get on and settled, I talk to Shirley and learn that she has missed her plane and that she is suppose to be on the next plane at 7:15 p.m. Now remember, Shirley has an injured back and is in pain, real pain. Her husband has scheduled a doctor's appointment for her and an MRI later the next day. She also has to go back to school the next morning. It is the Monday after Spring Holidays, plus she has an event to attend honoring a good friend.

As we are leaving the airport , I talk with Shirley and learn that all the fights to Memphis have been canceled until the next morning. Now, if either of us hag been thinking, she could have riden the bus with us to Grenada and Jay could have picked her up there. She could have been home in two hours. Coulda, woulda shoulda!! We are too busy lamenting the fact that there are no more flights that we are not thinking straight. Jay calls around and gets her a hotel room, but she will not go because she doesn't want to miss the flight the next morning at 6:30 a.m. because it is tentative that she even has a seat on that flight. She sleeps on an airport couch. Ouch!!! If MR had not gotten the bus, we would have been on the flight with Shirley to Memphis, and we would have been keeping her company in the airport over night.

Meanwhile back on the bus, we doze and finally arrive in Indianola around 1:30 a.m. Our families are waiting to greet us and gather our luggage and purchases and chauffeur us home to our own beds. I am one of the lucky ones since I do not have to go to work in 7 hours.

I sleep until 10:00 a.m. and call to check on Shirley. Jay tells me she got out on the 7:30 a.m. flight to Memphis and arrived at 7:30 because of the time change. He got her home; she bathed, and went on to school and stayed until 1:30 when she went to the recognition for their friend. She then went on to the doctor and had her MRI. When I talk to her that night, she is planning on going to bed at 7:30 p.m. Is she Wonder Woman or what?!!!!!!

We had a great time on our trip, and I am preparing for our next jaunt to Spain in the Spring of 2009. If anyone is interested let me know. We would love to have you.

# 10 March 15 "Parting is such sweet sorrow . . ." or I don't want to go home!!!!

As the ole faithful cell phone goes off, the realization hits that this is the last day of our trip. We have a full day planned and will try to pack in all we want to see. M.R. has part of the day planned and then we are on our own to get one last look.

We meet in the lobby after breakfast to go to the Spanish Steps. The Spanish Steps is another place I have seen pictures of and have always wanted to visit. Well, I can mark them off my list, and they lived up to my expectations.

Our first view of the Spanish Steps

A Lesson . . .The Spanish steps were built from the Piazza Spagna up the hill to the Trinita die Monti Church. For hundreds of years the slope was a wooded area that was of concern as early as 1515. When plans were first made to build steps between the piazza and the church, a Pope (I can't remember which one right now) did not want the steps to be built because he did not want the area to overshadow the Vatican area (something like that). In 1717 a contest was held to find a designer/architect to plan and build the steps. There were several fights and disagreements over which design would be chosen, but in 1723 construction on the steps began and they were completed in 1725. With 138 steps, they are the longest and widest staircase in Europe. Several yards from base of the steps in front is a Burnini fountain of which the center piece is a boat that was designed when another Pope (you can tell I don't know my Popes) wanted something designed after a boat he saw washed up on the bank of the Tiber River after a flood. The steps have been featured in several movies, and to the right of the steps at the bottom is the home of the English poet John Keats. It was here that he died. Click on the link http://www.pannoramas.dk/fullscreen5/f3_rome.html for a 3D visit to the Spanish Steps.

Class Dismissed.

Me, drinking from the Brunini fountain in front of the Spanish Steps

When we arrive, Shirley, Cathy, Mary Kat and I gird our strength and begin climbing the steps. We take a "picture break" half way up. We take in the view below and then visit the watercolor vendors. After leaving several euros with them, we go back down the steps where I commune with the spirit of Keats and drink out of the Burnini fountain. We gather at the foot of the steps with our group and begin our walk to the Pantheon.

Shirley, Mary Kat, and Cathy stop for a rest as I take advantage of a Kodak moment

We walk down the Via Condotti, which is one of the most famous streets in Rome with its shops that house every major fashion designer. We see Prada, Armani, Ferragamo, Gucci, Valentino, Dolce-Cabbana, Manolo Blanic, and Vercace signs. Some the younger fashionistas thought they had died and gone to heaven. We were told to keep our eyes out for celebrities. For me, the street was the way to get to another historical site. The street leads us to the Piazza della Rotonda, and there it is, the Pantheon.

Our view of the Pantheon as we enter the piazza

A Lesson . . . The Pantheon was built around (circa is the term I believe) 125 AD, and the original construction is credited to Hadrian. He had it built as a temple to all the gods, and it is the best preserved building in Europe and believed in the world of its age. Later another Pope of whom I do not know the name had the building rededicated as a Christian church. The dome over the building is the largest unreinforced dome in the world and in the center is the oculus or The Great Eye that is open to the sky. This opening is the only light for the building, and when it rains there is a drainage system in the floor to take care of the water. Several well-known people are buried in tombs in the Pantheon, including the artist Raphael. Click on the link http://www.arounder.eu/pantheon/pantheon/html for a 3D visit to the Pantheon.

Class dismissed.

After our visit to the Pantheon, we are on our own for the rest of the day. We group up with several more folks, including our experienced guide Debbie, and make plans for the rest of the afternoon. Boy, did we have big plans!!!! We decide to eat not far from the Pantheon at the Palazza Novena, which was originally the site of Roman chariot races. It is now the site of shops, outdoor artists, and cafes. We pick a charming outdoor cafe, and I order what turns out to be a delicious pizza of flat bread, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, olive oil, ground pepper, fresh basil and balsamic vinegar. Sooooooo Good!!

Our outdoor cafe at the Palazza Novena

After lunch we take the longest walk we have taken the entire trip to the Roman Forum. Along the way we pass the home of the Italian Prime Minister and the window in the home of Mussolini from where he gave speeches to the Italian people during WWII. The Ides of March having just passed, we see several statues of Julius Caesar with wreathes on them. When arrive at the forum, and I have to say this is one of my favorite places to visit on the entire trip. There is so much history here: the seat of the early Roman government, the place of the death of Julius Caesar, and even more important for me, the road on which the apostle Paul entered Rome on one of his missionary journeys. I walked where Paul walked!

Ruins at the Roman Forum

The main road leading into Rome where the Apostle Paul walked

We then head for our next stop, the Church of (I'm not sure), the site of the Truth Rock. Legend has it that a person could put his hand through a hole in the rock, and if he was known to tell a lie, his hand would be cut off. Legend also has it that at some point priests would hide behind the rock and really cut off the hands of those who dared to stick their hands in the rock. The movie Roman Holiday features a scene with the Truth Rock in it. When we get to the church, the line is so long to see the rock we decide not to spend our time in line. We visit the gift shop and get our post cards and get ready to head for the next site. It is at this point that some of our group decide to catch a taxi back to the hotel. It has been a long day, and we have already walked least 7 or 8 miles. I want to tease them for being sissies, but for just a second, I had entertained the idea of going back to the hotel, too.

Debbie, Marion Mauseth (one of the students) and I trek on to one more site, San Pietro in Vincoli, the site of the preservation of the chains of St. Peter when he was jailed in Jerusalem and Michelangelo's statue of Moses, which serves as a tomb for an early Pope. We catch a taxi to save time since the day is almost over. We arrive at the church and see the chains, another tie to our Christian heritage and the Statue of Moses. It is quite imposing and is close to the statue of David. I read in the guide book that the horns that appear to be coming out of Moses' head is the result of the translation of the Hebrew in which the words for light and horns are close to the same. There is a description of Moses that makes the point that light was eminating from his head, hence the horns.

The chains of St. Peter

Michaelangelo's Moses

We get our bearings and head for the hotel by foot. We are not too far and strike out to take in the ambiance and finish the last day of our trip. I literally collapse on my bed when we get back to the hotel. We have walked at least 10 miles today getting from place to place.

We dine as a group for our last meal. We catch a bus for part of the ride and then walk the rest of the way to the restaurant. There is another great meal to end our tasting of Italian food. We have stuffed pork cantalloni in a cream basil sauce, chicken cutlets, roasted potatoes, and tiramisu, along with a bottle of austi spumante.

The highlight of the evening is a stroll to the Trevi Fountain. It is an awesome place at night. There are lights to highlight the fountain, and there are a least 500 hundred people milling around, sitting together, and enjoying the surroundings. The legend is that if a visitor throws 2 coins into the fountain, one over his shoulder, he will return to Rome. The fountain has been featured in several movies, the best known Three Coins in the Fountain starring Clifton Webb and Dorothy McGuire. We buy one last taste of gelato and catch a bus back to the hotel.

Trevi Fountain

Me, throwing one of my coins into the fountain

The evening crows around the fountain

One last picture of the 3 Traveling Buddies

We stuff our bags and hope not to go over the weight limit too much. I set my cell phone for one last time for 4:30 a.m. We are to leave the hotel at 5:30 the next morning.

There is nothing better than . . .

Children's children are the crown of old men; the glory of children are their parents. Prov. 17:6

On May 24 Chase and Laura were married 5 years. The time has passed so quickly, and it has been such a blessing watching their love grow along with their family. Now , I know your a are thinking this is a sappy, nostalgic walk down memory lane, but it's not. Yea! They left town for an anniversary trip to Charleston and Lance and I got to keep William and Wes. Those of you who know us well, know that Laura has not let the kids out of her sight that much. At first I was hurt that she didn't think that we could take care of the kids, but after watching her mother and nurture the boys these past two and a half years, I have come to realize she just likes being a mother and spending time with her boys. Anyway, we got to spend 6 whole days with the boys and loved every minute of it. Here are few realizations I had on the drive home last evening:

6:45 a.m. is very early in the morning.

8:00 p.m. can not come early enough.

There is nothing worse than changing two dirty diapers at 6:45 a.m. when you are not a morning person anyway.

There is nothing better than the smile that greets you after a night's sleep when you walk in your grandson's room.

There is nothing worse than when your grandson spills his glass of milk for the third day in a row after you have said "Be careful" at least 10 times.
There is nothing better than when your grandson wants to go home with you.

There is nothing worse than when your grandson clings to you and won't go to anyone else.
There is nothing better than when your grandson clings to you and won't go to anyone else.

There is nothing worse than the sweaty smell of two little boys after a hard day of playing.
There is nothing better than the smell of two clean little boys after their nightly bath.

There is nothing worse than little fat chubby hands smearing food in their hair or painting a picture on the table with apple sauce.
There is nothing better than little fat chubby hands reaching around your neck to hold on tight.

There is nothing worse than hearing, "No, I don't want to.
There is nothing better than hearing, "I love you , too."

There nothing worse than watching your grandson pitch a screaming, lay-down-on-the-floor fit.
There is nothing better than hearing your grandson's prayer at night, especially when he asks God to bless his Poppa and Kakki.

There is nothing worse than knowing that it will be several weeks before you get to see your babies again.
There is nothing better than going home to Inverness and sleeping in my own bed.

There is nothing worse knowing than there are children who will never get to experience the love of two great parents or even good parents.
There is nothing better than knowing your grandsons are being raised by two great parents

Here are a few pictures of our time with the boys:

Working on hanging the swing on Mama and Daddy's new patio addition. Poppa and Taylor need some help.

The finished product

Learning how to slip and slide.

Kakki turned a box into a major toy.

"I will play here while William is gone."

"These boots are made for walking," especially since I have been walking for only a month. I have a lot to catch up on.

By the way, please don't cut these curls anytime soon!

A Week-end of Firsts

Wow, this past week-end was a week-end that will forever be etched in my memory. First, we celebrated the first birthday of my second grandson Wes. Of course, he was the cutest thing diving into his birthday cake and coming out the biggest mess with icing all over his face and hands. His dad opened gifts for him, but he seemed to be more interested in the remote control for the TV than playing with his gifts. Just wait until next year.

Going for a stroll around the neighborhood. Wes and William are riding in Wes' birthday present from Poppa and Kakki. Also along for the walk are Taylor and Mamoo, the boys' great grandparents.

What is so special about this thing? All Mama and Daddy say is "NO!' everytime I touch it. I guess birthdays are so special I can play with it today.

What is this? Can I touch it?

Wow! This is the best! Mama, I like cake.

Also, I was in my first earthquake! Yes, you read correctly, an earthquake. Saturday afternoon in Tupelo there was an earthquake that registered 3.2 on the Ricther Scale. What does a 3.2 earthquake feel like? Ya got me! I missed it. Now, when I say I missed it it, I mean that I heard it, but I wasn't in the best place to experience it. Where was I you ask? I was in the bathroom taking care of bathroom business. As I was taking care of business, I hear this loud noise. My first reaction was that a plane had crashed into a house. I had this reaction because Laura lives near the Tupelo airport. When I came out of the bathroom, I asked, "What was that noise?" Responses were as varied as the number of people in the house: "It sounded like a sonic boom." "It was a big truck." "Maybe it was thunder." As we looked out the windows, we noticed people in the neighborhood were looking out their windows too, while some were standing out in their yards. We went back to enjoying birthday cake, thinking nothing more about the noise.

Later that evening after we had returned to Delta Land, Laura called to say that the noise we heard was an earthquake. "An earthquake?!!" "Yeah, mama, that's right." I remember back several years ago around 1985, give or take a few years, there was a big scare that we here in Mississippi were in for a big earthquake because we are sitting on some fault line. We were warned to get our earthquake kits together and be like the Boy Scouts. We squirreled away water, canned goods, first aids supplies, can opener, flashlights, batteries, extra clothes, and no telling what else. The appointed day was in December, if my memory does not fail me. The day came and went and there was no earthquake. The week came and went and there was no earthquake. The month came and went and there was no earthquake. Soon we all forgot about the earthquake. When we moved to Inverness in 1999, I was cleaning out our old house in Moorhead and came across part of our earthquake kit. I thought about saving it since we were then in the the throws of all the Y2K and the End of Time warnings, which by the way like the earthquake, never came to fruition.

Even though my earthquake experience was sort of second hand, unlike one of the liquor stores in Tupelo whose owner said some of the bottles were shaken off the shelves, I can now say I was in an earthquake, even if I didn't know it.

Several of you faithful readers have asked about my travel journal. I have been so busy with brides and their invitations these last two weeks I haven't been able to find the time to finish my posts on Italy. I have one more day in Rome and the trip home. I will get back to the travel journal hopefully the first of next week for all you who are waiting anxiously to read about the goings on in Rome (I hope you fellow readers know that I am writing this tongue-in- cheek). The travel journal has been more for me to put the experience into words and print out for a keepsake than to bore you with our trip to Italy.

Take care fellow readers, and to my teacher friends, I know you can hardly wait until school is out. I wish you a wonderful summer of relaxation. DK